- December 27, 2017
- Posted by: Coach Tich
- Category: Uncategorized
Marriage Extreme Sport
I used to wonder why men go to pubs and drinking places, as these places never seem to have anything good. I have never been in a nightclub or pub but based on what I’ve seen on television there is nothing to miss. These places smell bad, the bear, the smoking, the violence, the bad music, the strange company, and the list goes on and on. In spite of all of this people still find themselves in these nasty places, including married people that are looking for a thrill of some sort. The question moved from why do people (men and women) go to these places to what need is being met by these places that are not being met in marriage? When I answered this question I made greater progress and this has helped heal and restore marriages as people became aware of the needs that were not being met at home.
I discovered that each couple needed to work at building an extreme marriage. What is an extreme marriage? Well, there are normal sports like golf, tennis, and soccer then there are the extreme sport like mountain boarding, Ice cross downhill, Bobsledding, Downhill skateboarding, and Street Luge. This is just a small list of extreme sports; more are being invented all the time. The question is why would someone do something that could potentially kill them? A better question is what do they gain by doing the sport. Well, they get honor, recognition and celebrity status from their friends and fans, not to mention the adrenalin shot that makes them feel like they rule the world and often the financial gain that comes from the sponsor that are behind extreme sport like red bull and monster.
Did you know that these are all needs that most human beings have in different measure? The need is met in different ways and when a person finds a method to meet a need he will pursue it on a regular basis because what they are looking for is the results and not really the process. So the big question in your mind is what has that got to do with marriage? Here we go. Every human is created with some basic needs, and these needs must be met. God designed us to have these needs so we could pursue relationship with other people in order to meet the needs. I explain this as finding legitimate ways to meet legitimate needs. It is possible to find illegitimate ways to meet legitimate needs and this is what nightclubs, pubs, and strip clubs do. They meet a legitimate need in an illegitimate way.
Building an extreme marriage is about doing what it takes to meet your marital needs in a safe environment so that your marriage becomes something that gives you an adrenalin rush. If it means hiring a pole and sending the kids away for the night let it be so. What would happen if you sent your husband a message saying “Just hired a pole, its in the middle of the room and when I’m done with you tonight you won’t be able to walk home, fortunately, it’s all happening at home and kids have gone away for the night so there’s no escape. PS. Got new lingerie I know you will love it, I’m getting wet just thinking about it, what time are you coming home?”. I promise you he will be home sooner than planned and that will be an awesome weekend. Now that is extreme marriage right there.
This will build confidence in the marriage, it will bond the two of you, and it will fortify the marriage and make the nightclub a waste of time and money. If couples became more thoughtful and creative about their marriages they would be amazed how easy it is to build stronger marriages. The quality of thought will determine the quality of the marriage so think of something extreme and clean that you can do together and surprise your spouse. You have to make a quality decision to Pimp up your marriage. It will help to share the vision and go the journey together. We have had to help couples in a situation where a wife decided to be creative and the husband was so shocked and asked “Where did you learn to do that” If you both decide on the pimping up the marriage process then it will be easier. Read good books together and share ideas that way the atmosphere is set and you will both be ready.
When you become deliberate about this process you will come to a place where the illegitimate ways of meeting your marital needs are replaced by legitimate ways and you will be happier and more fulfilled in your marriage. Study your spouse and identify their needs and find ways to meet them and you will be an amazing spouse. Your marriage will move out of the ordinary into amazing or better still into extreme, you will be Married and Loving it.