PIMP up your marriage

PIMP your marriage for 2018

The term “pimp my ride” was popularized by a TV show produced by MTV with that same name. All they did was take old beaten down cars and they restored to and customized it until it was beautiful and marketable. I want to think of that same concept and apply it to your marriage. The word pimp in “ghetto talk” refers to a person who manages a group of prostitutes and provides sexual services to clients, and secondly, it means to make showy or to make impressive.

Let’s use both meanings and see what we come up with. As a marriage coach, I find many marriages that are like those old beaten up and neglected cars. All they need is someone to look at it and believe there is value in that mess and be willing to work to make it look showy and impressive. When my wife and I look at some of these couples we are amazed to note that we believe in the marriage more than the couple in the marriage. We are often more willing to fight to make the marriage work than the people involved. Because of our years of experience in recovering marriages, we can look at the worst mess and see hope. So the first step to pimping your marriage is get a pimp. Get someone who can help you arrange and organize your marriage in a way that will help you get the best out of the mess you have created. It’s amazing what a neutral perspective can do to revive your marriage and get it flying again. My wife and I are marriage pimps for many people but we also have our spiritual parents that help us pimp up our marriage. My wife can try and tell me something many times and one word from my Dad Pastor Nicky vd Westhuizen gets the message across real quick. Having someone who loves you and believes in you is vital to building an awesome marriage. Their wisdom is not partial and in favor of one person, they speak not because they are trusting to impress you but because they have your wellbeing at heart.

The second key to pimping your marriage is have a clear vision. Using the car analogy again, the pimps have a clear vision of what the car used to be and what they want to make it to be. They work according to the blueprint. You need to have a clear picture of what Kind Of marriage you want. This covers every area from finances to sex, to holidays etc. if you have no clear of what you are working towards then it will be difficult to identify when you have arrived. Write the vision down make it plain.

Step number three follows step number two. Once the vision is clear you become aware of the investment implications of what you want. Great marriages are like great cars, they don’t come for free. You have to

know what is needed and then ask the key question “are we willing to pay the price to get what we want”. In the coaching sessions, we notice that many people are not willing to pay the price. They want a great marriage on 50% discount. If you are going to be cheap stay with your bad marriage, you deserve each other. A great marriage will cost money but more than that it will require time, commitment, dedication, passion, humility, a willingness to change, and a willingness to look at some ugly parts about you and confront them. These are more difficult than the financial implications. I know some wealthy people that we have enough money to pay for a thousand coaching sessions but cannot afford to pay all the other requirements.


The fourth step to pimping your marriage is start working on it right away. Don’t procrastinate hoping for a convenient time to start. Now is as best a time as ever. You can plan and plan until the cows come home but that won’t change things. Get to the workshop and start working on that car.

Step five is be aware that there will be pain as you will have to cut and remove some old parts and replace with new parts. This may seem simple but it’s amazing how so many of us have habits, values, and beliefs that we are not willing to let go of without a fight. Mike Murdock teaches that people change under two circumstances, one is when they hurt enough to change, and two when they learn enough to change. Women generally are more willing to learn and change than men. Men would rather change when there is pain. When the sex is gone or when their wife has packed her bags and is leaving then they suddenly become willing to change. It’s better to learn to grow and make the needed changes than waiting until things are really bad.

Step six, seven, and eight are simple. Six is make a decision to enjoy the process. Seven is get all the needed resources (books, CDs, and DVD’s). Eight is take time to review progress and celebrate the accomplishments. This will help to energize and motivate you to keep going. Celebrating every little step and success is a great way to keep enjoying the journey. As you see the “before” and “after” pictures you will be encouraged to keep going as you have great anticipation for what is yet to come.

Finally step number nine. Get another couple and become a pimp for them, help them pimp up their marriage. Several things will happen as you do this. 1. You will grow your own marriage and the principles will be established in you. 2. You will have greater value for your own marriage and appreciate the progress you have made. 3. You will feel better for having been a blessing to someone else. 4. We will start a movement that will help many marriages get stronger.

Hey, hope you enjoyed this article, if you did share the link with someone else, better yet share on your social media page and help someone else PIMP their marriage. Our book PIMP your marriage is coming in 2018 get ready for it. Send us suggestions of some topic you want us to address. It will be an awesome book I love the frame we have created. You can also download our first marriage book called married and loving it on our website ‪www.africamustread.co.za it’s our gift to you.


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