- December 19, 2017
- Posted by: Coach Tich
- Category: Married And Loving It
Let’s open our article with a Story that brings out some truths that we will discuss.
Story about Ruth and Steve
A couple walked into a counseling session, as they felt unhappy about their sexual life. After a bit of chitchat with the counselor, he asked them
“What is the problem?” Ruth who was a little more vocal than her husband responded, “Well the problem I think is um we seem to ah we seem to be unable to agree on how often we should ah make love”
The counselor responds, “Well that’s a common problem amongst couples and it can be solved”
Ruth jumps in feeling a lot freer than Steve “Yes but Steve wants to have sex every day”
Councilor to Ruth “How often do you have sex?
Ruth “Oh ahhh all the time about mmm three times a week”
Counselor to Steve “How often do you have sex?”
Steve after a moments pause responds “we hardly have sex only about 3 times a week”.
That little story may be funny but it is amazing how many couples have this same frustration. The question of frequency of lovemaking is on the top list of the FAQ’s in our seminars. The husbands ask hoping we can encourage their wives to increase the frequency and the wives ask hoping we can encourage their starving husbands to be content since “Godliness with contentment is great gain” The answer I give is not often what makes the ladies happy which is have sex as often as he needs it, with a daily recommended rate of once a day. From a biological perspective, God designed the male system to refill the dispatch department every 24 hours, meaning he is fully armed and dangerous every 24 hours (Minimum). Some men by practice and frequent use have a 12-hour cycle which increases their libido. Besides you can also have “squirtless orgasms” in between if the dispatch is empty (this is a whole subject on its own). But in case some people are up in arms with my answer lets make it scriptural so you can fight with God or the Apostle Paul.
“Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly—but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 MSG
When Paul wrote to the Corinthians he was giving the section of a website with the Frequently Asked Questions. One of the big questions that were asked was about sex. Wow, 2000 years later we are still asking the same question. In answering them he says they are to have sex and make sure you don’t defraud one another in the King James Version. Meaning if you are not giving your spouse enough you should be arrested for fraud. Notice how Paul encourages couples to have a strong commitment to meet each other’s sexual needs. He uses the word “mutuality” which you may relate better to the concept of mutual funds. If you ask for your money according to the contract you have with your mutual fund investor and they deny you access to your money you open a case against them, don’t you? Well, in the same way, we are obligated to meet each other’s sexual needs. This ought to be done out of love and commitment to each other as a couple not out of obligation. The word mutuality is defined as “the sharing of a feeling, action, or relationship between two or more parties”. In the context of marriage, it is two people, not more than that as in the context of a business transaction.
Paul advises that the couple ought to prioritize lovemaking so much that even fasting and prayer should not stop the commitment unless there is an agreement between them to abstain. Notice also that they are to come back to frequent sex soon so Satan does not tempt you. It looks like the enemy is really out to attack people in the sexual arena especially if the door is open because of infrequent lovemaking. Why is sex so important besides the fact that it is an awesome experience? Well like I mentioned in yesterdays article God encoded into sex an amazing program designed to keep you healthy for a long time. Let’s explore that a little and we will continue in part three.
Making Love generally Means For Man:
- Satisfaction of his sexual drive
- Fulfillment of his manhood
- Enhancement of his love for his wife
- Enhancement of healthy living
- Reduction of friction in the home
- Provides life’s most exciting experience
Making Love Generally Means For Women:
- Fulfillment of her womanhood
- Reassurance of her husband’s love
- Enhancement of her love for her husband
- A means of emotional bonding with her husband
What does the bible say?
- Sex is Good
What are the benefits of a healthy mutually rewarding enjoyable electric sex life? (Psalm 68:19)
- a) A good sex life glorifies God
- b) It will bring Gods blessing because of obedience (as you do the Word)
- c) It will help you achieve higher levels of intimacy spiritually and bring unity and synergy (where there is unity God commands the blessing)
- d) Good sex brings joy to the heart
You can often see happy couples by measuring the joy. Good sex reduces depression
- e) Good sex is good for your health
There are amazing health benefits that come with a great sex life. The number one way to stay healthy is to have a great sex life. Can you imagine it’s free and no prescriptions needed, no complications and side effects, and you cannot overdose? Why is Satan fighting sex amongst married couples and pushing for sex amongst unmarried people? He may be onto something the church does not want to talk about openly.
e.1) Sex helps in oxygenating the blood, every so often our blood needs to be saturated with oxygen during love making the heavy breathing increases the oxygen content in your blood and boosts your immune system and helps you deal with so many other possible ailments.
e.2) The production of endorphins helps the body to repair, heal and mend itself it brings happiness and reduces cold and flu infections and helps fight other viral infections
“Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.
e.3) It helps one sleep better. Sleep disorders plague many people’s lives. People struggle to sleep so they use sleeping tablets and then they need more tablets to get them up. God designed an amazing system to help you sleep and get up alert and energized with no side effects except a better healthier life.
e.4) Testosterone helps men to have stronger bones.
e.5) Endorphins & other hormones that are released during hot sex and orgasm act as a pain reliever, no more headache excuses
e.6) Frequent sex and ejaculation reduces the chances of having prostate cancer in men and cervical cancer in women
Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
“Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life, Australian researchers reported in the British Journal of Urology International. When they followed men diagnosed with prostate cancer and those without, they found no association of prostate cancer with the number of sexual partners as the men reached their 30s, 40s, and 50s.
But they found men who had five or more ejaculations weekly while in their 20s reduced their risk of getting prostate cancer later by a third.
Another study, reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that frequent ejaculations, 21 or more a month, were linked to lower prostate cancer risk in older men, as well, compared with less frequent ejaculations of four to seven monthly.” *
e.7) Frequent lovemaking helps reduce stress
Stress is a number one killer amongst men as it brings along a wide range of other diseases called secondary and tertiary diseases. High blood pressure, hypertension, heart failure, stroke to mention a few. This is not to instill fear but to help you know that God has a well-designed system that prevents all this, and as doctors used to say “prevention is better than cure”
e.8) Regular lovemaking increases women’s estrogen levels that protect her heart and keep vaginal tissues suppler
e.9) Good sex strengthens pelvic floor muscles
e.10) You avoid adultery hence you will live long
Let’s stop here today and continue tomorrow on this very hot topic. This is why I don’t believe in the big bang, there is a mastermind behind the creation of man, and we did not evolve from some creatures. Please post your comments below or if you have questions feel free to ask. Let us help you build Your Greatest Sex Life Ever.